Surgery #10 is set - January 6th

I have scheduled my revision surgery. It will be in the morning on January 6th. I have met with the plastic surgeon and she has some ideas of things she wants to try to make the dent go away and to try to move both side in towards the center. It’s going to involve a lot of internal stitching and recovery time. I think of it kind of like gutting a fish (not that I have ever done that) but she will basically open both sides, take everything out, try to create new pockets and then put the “stuffing” back in. We are adding 100 CCs to the new implants which really makes very little difference but we are just hoping to get as much fullness in the “crater” as possible.



I will be home recovering the month of January. It is very important that I do as little as possible with my arms. I knew this the last time around but I know I did things that I was not supposed to do…that is how you bust internal stitching….lesson learned!!! I no longer have a lap top so I guess it will be me and the iPhone just hanging out at home during January…sounds like a lot of fun, huh?



I am ready to get this over with and even if we are not successful I will go ahead and finish up after this surgery. Still need to decide about surgery for nipples (which my surgeon recommends) or if I just want to try to find someone that can do 3D tattoos. Plenty of time to worry about that later…Anyway, it’s been too long that I have let myself kind of stay in limbo with this reconstruction and I want to put it behind me once and for all. I had someone ask me if I still think or worry about cancer everyday. I would say most days it crosses my mind but I don’t spend near as much time worrying about it. I think that having such a difficult work situation occupies most of my thoughts. So I don’t spend all my time worrying about cancer but I am certainly not living a carefree, happy live (does anyone??). If stress can kill you my days are numbered!!!



The Middleton Family is pretty close to being ready for the holidays. Bret and the kids went out shopping last Saturday. Just having those few hours alone in the house seemed to get me back on track…well, almost! So the cards are done, 98% of the shopping is done (Vicki, you are not helping this number..), wrapping will start soon and cookies with the kids will be Wednesday. Jillian is very excited…she really doesn’t play with toys so she was even hard to buy for this year. I think she is more excited that we are making her a new playroom in Tyler’s old bedroom…(he is doing a makeover in the basement for his room). Since he had such a big bedroom she now practices her tumbling in there. I swear there are times that the pictures are going to fall off the wall and I am not surprised that none of the ornaments have fallen from the tree…..she seems to have endless energy and some days I think she has no concept of pain. She has enjoyed picking out posters and things to decorate the room. Bret is going to run cable in there so when she has friends over they will have somewhere to hang out…and I will finally get my TV back….somehow she has decided that my tv is really her tv….



We will have Christmas with the Middleton’s this Sunday and then we will visit with my family next weekend. It will be good to spend some quality time with everyone!



Well, enough for now. I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday. Take time to remember what the holiday is really about and spend quality time with those that really matter. Please say a prayer for all those that have lost loved ones this past year as they try to get thru their first Christmas without that special person.



Merry Christmas!

In a big, fat FUNK!

Well, that intro says it all...I'm in a funk...don't know why, nothing has happened, everyone is fine...I am just in a funk. Part of me thinks it is just Christmas...I am just not a fan of all the commercial crap that goes on surrounding this holiday...the real reason for Christmas is forgotten by so many...even my kids easily forget. A few nights ago Jillian said "I just wish I could have presents every day"...I tried to tell her that I understood what she was thinking but that we all must remember what this is really all about. We were watching Charlie Brown Christmas and right then my favorite part came on where they tell the Christmas story and they all remember the true meaning of Christmas. She listened but she is like most other kids and went right back to wanting it all....

Anyway, back to me and my "issues"....the holiday season started off pretty good for me. I felt organized, had my lists, Christmas cards were ordered and plans were set but for some reason this week I am just over it....don't feel like doing any of it. This is where Bret has to step in and take over...he's done it before and he can do it again....the plan is there...just needs to be implemented.

Work is tough and I know that affects my mood a lot. There are so many days that by the time 5:00 rolls around I just feel like I have nothing left to give...I want to just crawl in a hole. Of course, that's not an option so you go thru the motions. Wouldn't it be nice if we all got paid to do something we really loved to do??? There are days that I think I really deserve that and I am sure many of you think the same thing...life is too short - do what you love - love what you do...blah, blah, blah. I wonder how many people ever really get that chance?

Ok, enough of the pity party...moving on.

My surgery is set for January 6th. No guarantees that our plans to "lift and shift" the foobs will help the big dent in the center of my chest but I am ready to try this once and then finish up with nips and tats and be done with this. I am not nervous about this surgery and I feel good about my decision. I will be home most of January recovering which means not doing anything with my arms. She will once again do internal stitching and it is important that I move as little as possible to keep the stitches from popping. I wasn't very good about this the last time...I swear I could feel them pop sometimes and now I see the results of those choices.

Well, thanks for checking in...sorry to be such a downer but that is just where I am right now. Tomorrow is Friday and that is a very good thing. I love my weekends and we have some good things planned for the weekend and I will love every minute of it.

Be Thankful!

Sorry for the long time between updates….things have been CRAZY busy, but all is well.



September and October were crazy with the Komen Walk for the Cure and then a few friends and I hosted the 1st Annual Bunco for Boobies in October. This “little” fundraiser became quite an event…far more work than I think any of us imagined but it was a success. We raised over $2000 that night with a goal of raising $1000. Team Ta-Tas finished the year raising over $11,000 and finishing 5th overall for the Cincinnati area. We are already working on goals for next year….we want at least 100 team members so plan to join us next September if you can!!!



Sadly, JD lost his long battle in early October. We were able to go over for the golf benefit and spend the weekend. The outing was an incredible success. The town of Crawfordsville and the surrounding area really pulled together to support the Taylor family. JD left quite a legacy on this world for only being here a short time. The faith that he and his family showed all during this difficult journey never wavered and yet it was a powerful message for all that knew him. I have no doubt that many lives were changed because of this family and their faith. It is so hard to not question why JD….why someone so good and so young? It is times like this that you must rely on your faith to get you through. Please say a prayer for Sue, Jack and their entire family….they miss their sweet boy more than words can ever explain.



In other news I have accepted a nomination to become a member of the board for the Cincinnati Regional Breast Cancer Registry. This group works to study environmental and genetic factors in breast cancer for this area. I have only been to one meeting so far but found their area of study at this time to be fascinating. I am really looking forward to learning more and starting to contribute to such an important cause. There was certainly a great deal of media coverage last week about mammograms and self exams. I think the bottom line is if you have a family history of bc or you feel something or have any concerns talk to your doctor. For younger women the breast tissue is far more dense prior to menopause so mammograms have a very difficult time picking up cancers. Work with your physician to get the proper tests. Only you can advocate for yourself and remember that the majority of biopsies come back negative but if your gut says something needs to be checked out than make sure you get it checked out!



Health wise all is good for now. My 2 year check up was great and for now I will continue with follow ups every 3 months. I have finally made another appt with my plastic surgeon to talk about a revision surgery. I am thinking about surgery right after the holidays. The constant wrist pain that I was having has gone away….now replaced by constant aching joints all over…nothing that I can’t handle, but I now know why some people grunt or moan when they first get up and start walking….still trying not to moan or grunt out loud but some days I sure would like to just let it out….sucks to get old!! I think menopause is catching up with me….I can tell in the way my clothes fit that I am getting heavier in the middle which is the LAST place I need extra fat! Maybe I can get some cheap lipo when I go to get the foobs fixed….



I am starting to travel a little for work again and I love it. A few weeks ago I went to St. Louis and Kansas City and then I made a quick trip to New Jersey and NYC. That was my second trip to NYC…it really is a crazy place and so unlike anywhere I have ever been. It’s nice to visit but I would have no desire to live there…..the Cincinnati pace is just perfect for me! When I am on the road I am doing product training. I really love this part of my job. Interacting directly with our reps and customers re-energizes me…I love being out with the customer compared to just sitting behind a desk working on projects. I am hopeful that I will have the opportunity to travel more in the future.



Bret and the kids are fine. Jillian finished cheerleading and will be doing dance and tumbling during the winter. She also has started Girl Scouts (Daisies) and is really enjoying that. Tyler had some great experiences in Boy Scouts when he was younger and I am glad that Jillian will have those same opportunities. Tyler is continuing to work on his addiction to X-box. Enough said on that topic….have I told you how much I hate video games!!! He seems to have settled in well to high school…..I am thankful for that. Hard to believe that he will be getting his learner’s permit next summer….





So now we are in the holiday rush…I haven’t done a lot of shopping but I am getting lists together. I really am not a huge fan of Christmas when it comes to the gifts and shopping. It just seems like it’s all about gifts and getting stressed out trying to be everywhere…we have gotten too far away from the true meaning of the holiday…maybe that’s why I like Halloween so much…no gifts…just pick up a few bags of candy and you are set!! J



Thanks for checking in – I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. We will be at home this year and I am glad that we won’t be fighting holiday traffic.



Take a moment to remember all the gifts in your life….we all have so much to be thankful for!

Two years ago....

Two years ago the cancer was cut out of me!!! That’s right, I had my lumpectomy two years ago today….in my mind that is the day I became a survivor. Today is such a better day compared to that day. I can remember wanting to have the surgery over with but being terrified as to what they would find. The radiologist that I saw before surgery to inject the dye for the sentinel node had scared me so bad….he said there was so much pre cancer that he didn’t even need to inject the “marker” into the breast. In that moment I knew it was bad….I knew they were going to tell me that it was Stage IV and I was going to die. I would not see my children grow up…..I had not done all the things I wanted to do with my life and all that was going to be taken away when the final pathology report came in. I tried to remain strong but I clearly remember starting to melt down right there as he tortured me with needles….I just cried and cried while the nurse rubbed my cheek and tried to calm me down. Once the surgery was over then we had to wait….those days were hard and I tried to remain strong for my kids….Tyler said that he heard if you had breast cancer you would die…..Jillian just knew Mommy had a couple boo-boos….I was angry that my kids even had to hear the words breast cancer. When we got the call that the report was in and we were to meet with Dr. K. I was glad the waiting was over but still terrified as to what we would hear. Dr. K. once again became my hero that day. He told us that the tumor was 4 mms and the remaining areas were pre cancer…I was considered Stage I!! That was music to my ears…Bret and I were so happy…I remember driving up 71 and us both just feeling so good…we stopped for a wonderful lunch to celebrate the good news…..that’s when Bret asked me if I was going to go for double D implants….I guess that didn’t work out so well for him!! J

The journey after that day has certainly had its’ ups and downs but I can remember in those first few weeks thinking that making it to the two year mark just seemed so far away….but here I am today! I could have never gotten here without my wonderful doctors and our incredible friends and family….Bret has been the best nurse and caretaker that a person could ever ask for….definetely makes you think of “for better or worse” when you take those wedding vows. Our neighbors have repeatedly arranged for meals after surgeries and helped so much with the kids and just anything we needed…like installing a garage door during a frigid day in the winter. So many cards, blog messages, gifts, emails and phone calls that always made me feel so loved and supported…….all these things helped more than words can ever express….I know that as a family we are very fortunate to be surrounded by such a caring, giving and supportive group….we are BLESSED and will never forget all that you have done.

Today things are good….it has been a super crazy busy few weeks. Last weekend was the Komen Race for the Cure. Team Ta-Tas had over 70 registered team members and out of 381 teams we were the 5th highest fundraising group..we have over $9400 so far…I was so happy!! Kay and Vicki and their families came in town for the weekend which was so nice. Saturday was a perfect morning for the walk…they think they had almost 15,000 participants. I loved the walk being downtown this year…we crossed over the Ohio River and one bridge and came back into Cincinnati on another bridge. The survivor ceremony was in the Red’s stadium which was also very cool. I got called down onto the field when they announced the top fundraising teams….I was so proud of Team Ta-Tas…I walked down on that field just like a Rock Star!!! HAHA!! At the end of the ceremony they formed all the survivors into a large human pink ribbon in the stadium seats….hard to describe but it was incredible to watch it building on the jumbo-tron!

After the walk we went out for a nice lunch on the river with Vicki, Todd and Em. Then it was time to head home and get ready for a big party at our house….we were celebrating Bret’s b-day and Team Ta-Tas….we had around 65 people attend and it was the perfect evening. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate two years of being cancer free.

I will be going to Indy this weekend to visit Sue and family. JD is still in the hospital. Please continue to send this family prayers…their faith continues to inspire me every day. I love them all so much. It will be so good to spend some time with Sue…it has been so hard to be away from her during all of this…I wish my visit was under different circumstances but I am looking forward to spending some time with everyone.

I guess I will sign off by saying…”Hey Cancer, KISS MY ASS!!” I am a survivor!!!!!!!!!

Wow! $7136.00

Team Ta-Tas has raised over $7000.00 so far....I am so excited...we have 68 team members. Out of 365 teams that have registered for this year's Cincinnati walk we are ranked #4....in our division (Friends and Family) we are #2. I am really looking forward to the walk this weekend. The weather forecast is great (last year we actually had a hurricane blow thru Ohio right after the walk!!) I am looking forward to my sisters coming down for the weekend. It will be great to be together and be walking in honor of our Mom who is now a 7 year breast cancer survivor!!! YEAH!!!

Our family has not quite reached our goal of raising $1000 - if you would like to make a donation please use the following link. I will post all the details from the walk next week so stay tuned!

http://www.komencincinnati.org/site/TRC/Race/General?pg=peditor&fr_id=1030&px=1152862

If you're wondering what happened to my hair...I just got a new cut and the gal that did it wanted to straighten it...I don't really think I will be able to fix it like this but it would be nice to have more options...



Please keep JD and the entire Taylor Family in your prayers...so many of you have asked about them and I appreciate you praying for them even if you do not know them. They are all so special to me. JD has had a rough few days and he is back in the hospital...please pray for them to relieve his pain so he can go home. He is an amazing young man.

It's almost RACE DAY!

I can't believe the Komen walk is next week. Team Ta-Tas has raised over $5000 and we just signed up our 60th member...I am so excited! Preparing for the walk last year I was nervous...I didn't know how I would feel being around so many survivors...would it be sad....would I get upset...I just didn't know. It turned out to be an awesome day. It is a celebration of the brave women that fought the disease but could not win...it is a celebration of the women that continue to fight and the day enforces the message that we need a cure and we all HOPE for a cure. Our family has not reached our personal goal of raising $1000 so if you would like to sponsor us please use the link below. I can't believe I will be celebrating 2 years cancer free that week...I am so very thankful for that!



Thank you for supporting the fight against cancer!

Click here to visit my personal page.
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://www.komencincinnati.org/site/TR/Race/General?px=1152862&pg=personal&fr_id=1030&et=Pfmq81lwAApZilcYy97e2A..&s_tafId=7490





Happy Birthday to my Mom today...love you and hope you have a great day!



Please continue to pray for JD and family....they are awaiting news to see if JD will qualify for any drug trials. Their faith is inspiring and they have touched so many with their story...please pray for a miracle for this incredible young man and his loving family...

PLEASE Pray for the Taylor Family!

The Taylor Family needs all the prayers we can offer...JD has been fighting this for so long..today they were told that the cancer has spread to his spine and it is not operable...he has been doing chemo for so long but the cancer has spread. I don't know a lot of details but they may look into other treatments. I just wish I could do something to make this all go away. Sue is amazing....her faith is incredible and I am blessed that she is my friend....I love her so much. Please pray for JD, Sue and Jack and their entire family...pray for JD to no longer be in pain...pray for their strength as they make decisions about the next steps....PLEASE PRAY FOR A MIRACLE!

Summer is winding down...

I cannot believe we are at the end of summer already….the kids start school next week. Of course, Jillian is excited about being in 1st grade and reminded me this morning that she will now be on the big kids playground at her school…very important stuff! She turned 6 last Saturday. We had 16 little girls over for a pool party…it was a Hannah Montana theme so they were all little rock stars! Tyler will be a freshman this year and of course he is NOT looking forward to going back to school…he has had a pretty lazy summer so getting up so early will not come easy. He decided not to play football this year…I was very disappointed but he said he really didn’t like it. Several of the boys quit this year which is really too bad. Now their plan is to join the bowling team….interesting…..

Nothing new for me on the health front. Still having some spotting and cramping so I will need to call the doctor next week to see what she wants to do about that. I feel like my body has finally adjusted to the Arimidex so I hate the idea of changing to a new drug…I guess we will just have to see what she decides to do. I have not made any final decisions about revision surgery…I think I will probably stick with my original surgeon…I am thinking about surgery in January but no plans have been made.

Please continue to pray for JD and family. He was back in the hospital last night due to severe head and neck pain…they are trying to get his various meds adjusted because they feel like that is why he is feeling so bad. Please pray for their strength during this long difficult journey and pray that the doctors can make the right decisions to help him feel better soon.

The 2009 Komen Race for the Cure is less than a month away….I will be celebrating my 2 year cancerversary that week. As a family we are also very thankful that my Mom will be passing the 8 year mark since her breast cancer diagnosis. So far our team has raised over $3000 which is incredible. The race will be held in downtown Cincinnati this year. We will walk over one of the bridges that crosses the Ohio River and we will finish the event in the Red’s stadium so I am looking forward to a great event. We have 6 survivors signed up as part of Team Ta-Tas. I am looking forward to walking with them and our friends and family. If you would like to walk with us or if you can support our team by making a donation please use the link below. Bret and the kids and I will all be participating and we hope to raise $1000 as a family.

Thank you for supporting the fight against cancer!

Click here to visit my personal page

If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://www.komencincinnati.org/site/TR/Race/General?px=1152862&pg=personal&fr_id=1030&et=s0mwUJaXcFfoAqUEJA8tyQ..&s_tafId=7490

Another opinion....

I met with my plastic surgeon earlier this week. We talked thru all my questions and concerns and obviously she has her own opinions…now it’s up to me to decide what the next step will be. She was open to the idea of doing a revision surgery to lift both sides and add some additional internal stitching to push them closer together. Again, there is no guarantee that this will make any of the denting go away. All three surgeons agree on this point…they each have ideas on how they would do the procedure and they are all different. If I stay with my doctor we are looking at one outpatient surgery to “lift and shift” and then another outpatient surgery for skin grafting for the nipple/areola area…once all that heals then she would do the tattoos. If I had to make a decision today I would stay with my surgeon. She has been involved from the beginning and knows how I heal and what issues I have with scar tissue, internal pockets, etc.



As of right now I have no idea what I will do…I told her that I wanted to think about it for a few months.



I talked to the Gyn this week since I am still spotting…she said let’s give it a couple more weeks and then get together to talk about what should be done…I have changed some of the times that I was taking the different meds and that seems to be helping with the left wrist pain and the sleeping problems…going to sleep is still no easy task but I am getting more sleep than I was a few weeks ago.



Prayer concerns for this week are JD and family….July was a horrible month for them full of pain, nausea and unanswered questions which is terrifying. So far August is looking up and he is feeling better. Please pray that he is able to get back to feeling good and that life settles down for all of them.



I would also like to ask for prayers for Molly. She is the wife of one of my reps. She recently found out she is pregnant with their third child and right after that found out that she has breast cancer. She will be having a single mastectomy tomorrow and will begin treatment soon. It is amazing that a pregnant women can be treated with certain chemotherapy drugs that will not harm the child. I have a couple women in my online support group that have traveled this exact path and things have turned out just fine for them. Molly and her family are obviously thrilled about the baby but terrified about the cancer and the surgeries/treatment that will go along with it. I can not imagine how completely overwhelmed this family is but their faith remains strong. Please remember them in your prayers.



We Middleton’s are all fine….summer is flying by too fast but we are having fun. Jillian will soon be 6 and then it’s time for school to start….hope you are having a great summer!! Thanks for checking in.

Another opinion.....

Today I had an appt with another plastic surgeon. He was very nice and really took a great deal of time to give me his opinion. Unfortunately, his opinion on how to improve these foobs is very different than the other two surgeons. It’s pretty complicated and I don’t have the energy to bore you with all the specifics. Bottom line is I like all 3 surgeons…they have 3 very different opinions on how to do the revision so the ball is in my court. I will see my original plastic surgeon next week so I am anxious to hear her opinion when I ask her about my revision options.

I hate to jinx myself but I think some of my symptoms are starting to get a little better. I have not had any cramping at all and the spotting is now very light. Not sleeping was about to drive me completely insane….I have to have my sleep and when I don’t I know I am not much fun to be around. I think I went over a week with just a couple hours of sleep each night and I was waking up several times which is something I have never done. This past Friday night I went to sleep around 12:30 and was shocked when I woke up and it was after 9:00!!! I am still having a very hard time getting to sleep but at least I am getting 4 hours which is no where near the 9 that I require and love but I am at least functioning again. The only thing that is getting worse is the pain in my left wrist. It’s very sore first thing in the morning and I catch myself trying not to use it more and more during the day. I am still saying as long as it doesn’t get any worse I can tolerate it….only 4 more years of this medication…..piece of cake, right?!

Other than that we are all fine. Tyler is down in Florida with a friend for the week….this is the first time he has gone on a trip with a friend and their family. He is having a great time but I miss him..We had a good weekend even though the weather was so crummy. We went to two different cook-outs and Bret took Jillian and her friend Kayleigh to King’s Island Saturday morning. We didn’t get to have our regular Sunday night pool party and I was just lost….I love our Sunday nights at the pool so hopefully more people will be in town this coming weekend and the weather will cooperate!

Please say a prayer for JD and his family. He had a horrible day yesterday when he went to do another round of chemo. They decided to admit him into the hospital again because he was having so much pain in his head. They were meeting with more doctors today to try to figure out what is going on but last I heard he is still not feeling good. I just pray that they can find some answers and get him back to feeling ok. This is so very hard on all of them and the only thing I can do to help them from here is ask for prayers…….

I would also ask for prayers for my friend Carl. He was my mentor when I first started at LSI. He had to have the lower half of his leg amputated last week due to an infection. His recovery is going fine but this will be such a huge adjustment for him physically and emotionally.

Without him, I am nothing,
But with Him I can do all things through
Christ that strengthens me."
(Phil 4:13)

A new plastic surgeon???????????

I met with Dr. Butterfield today...she is quick and gets right to the point. I was nervous about going to a new doc but I do think plastic surgeons are a special breed...they are artists in a way so when you go from one to another and ask them to "fix" something they are going to always have opinions. My main issue that I wanted to discuss was the dent in the center. She felt like that could be "improved" by opening everything up again and re-creating the pockets that hold the implants...while doing this she would be lifting them and trying to pull them closer together. As for the rippling and pucker (dog ear) on the left breast she was not absolutely sure she could do anything about that....my breast surgeon (not plastic surgeon) was very aggressive in taking out all the breast tissue so I am left with VERY thin skin over an implant. She said we could use some Alloderm (cadaver tissue) to improve the pocket....she said that would be something she would make a decision on once she began the surgery. One thing I was not expecting was when she told me that the way my scarring has healed I may not be able to have tattoos done if I just wanted to stay with what I had. Because of this she said that if I did want a revision she would actually open the breast mounds with a scar thru the middle instead of using the old scars under the breast. She said she would be able to remove some of the heavy scarring across the middle of the breast and then we would see how that heals before deciding about tattoos....

She was very professional in delivering the information and was in no way trying to push me into surgery...she knew that I was in no rush and in the end just said call me if you decide to do it.

I was nervous going today but now I want to get a third opinion. This is what I should have done in the beginning when I was first diagnosed. Everything was just so overwhelming after meeting with the breast surgeon and then 3 oncologists I just wanted to get things moving. I know what I have today is ok but if I think that someone can do something to improve the dent I will do it.....I have given it some time and it still REALLY bothers me...the other issues she and I discussed today are things that are not that important to me because when I have clothes on no one sees these things. I do know that I want to complete the process so I definitely need to get another opinion on the tattoo issue. I am in no rush so now I can take the time to get the info and decide what is right for me.

I guess while I was there I should have asked about getting some work done on my face. When I picked up Jillian from daycare today one of the other kids looked at me when I walked in and said "who's Grandma is that?" Stopped me in my tracks...wanted to spank her cute little behind but instead I just laughed and walked away....don't you just love kids and their "no filter" comments??!!

The Gyn nurse called today to say that there were no signs of infection with my urine samples so still no firm answer on what is causing those issues....

Stay tuned .... more to come!

Good news!

The surgeon called on Friday and let me know that there were no cancerous cells with my biopsy...for right now we are just going to wait and see what happens...they are not sure if my issues are caused by menopause or the arimidex.

Tomorrow I have an appt with a new plastic surgeon...just curious to get a new opinion on what my options are for revision surgery.

Too tired to write any more tonight...all is well, thanks for the prayers on the biopsy...I have dodged yet another bullet....

So now I can't stop peeing.....

I went in for my biopsy today...that went fine...just like I remembered..OUCH! Since we were also doing my annual exam I had to answer a million questions and talk about any other issues. I told them that I have gone from a person that could "hold it" for hours to someone who has to pee "NOW"...anyway, when the doc saw that she was a little concerned that this could be caused by a bladder infection. I go back tomorrow for another test. As for the uterine biopsy she did say she was pretty confident that we won't find any cancer cells and then we will have to decide if these problems are caused by menopause or the Arimidex...

Never a boring day with me and medical issues...I will update when I get any results! Thanks for checking in.

Recovering from the long holiday weekend...

Not much new to report…just trying to recover from a busy and fun holiday weekend. We spent the weekend at Mohican State Park with family and friends. Bret and I rented a boat on Friday to take the kids tubing and fishing on Pleasant Hill Lake…they really enjoyed it…our Jillian is absolutely fearless! On Saturday Jillian and I took Grandma and Papa Deel over into Amish country…it is so beautiful there and the food is so yummy! While Jillian and I were in Amish Country, Bret took Tyler and Ryan (Tyler’s friend) to go canoeing, ride go carts and play miniature golf. We all went to see the wonderful fireworks in Loudonville on Saturday night. It really was a fun weekend.

I will have my biopsy on Wednesday…no idea on how long it will take to get the results back…I am guessing it will be sometime next week. Please say a little prayer for me that they do not find any cancerous cells…

Other than that I would just ask for you to continue to pray for JD and his entire family…after stopping the seizures he has now been in the hospital since last week and last I read he should be going home tonight. His sodium levels are too low and they are having trouble stabilizing them. He will do another round of chemo tomorrow. This is a rough time for all of them…I am hoping they can resolve this sodium issue soon. They all mean so much to me and it just breaks my heart to see them struggle like this.

Thanks for checking in!

Why can't I just get a straight answer????

I had a good appointment with Dr. B. today. We started off talking about the bleeding issue. The ultrasound report had not been read by the hospital yet but he told me he really was not too worried. He felt like it was a symptom of menopause or a side affect of the Arimidex that I began taking after surgery. He said that if it continues for more than a few more weeks I should check back in with him.



We talked about the hair loss issue. Got the same answer….either a result of menopause or side affect of the Arimidex…he said it was pretty common and that he had never seen anyone lose too much…I wish I would have said “exactly what is too much”???? Just four more years of this drug…UGH!!



The Arimidex is known for causing a lot of joint pain…we talked about that and I told him that the only issue I have noticed is that my left wrist is very stiff and painful in the mornings. Hopefully, this will be the only joint issue I have while taking this med…just won’t be playing too much tennis…good thing I don’t play anyway!!! J



I asked him if there was anything new with treatments or vaccines. He told me about a few new clinical trials he has started and told me that he does believe that we will see more vaccines coming out in the future to try to prevent cancer…I have read quite a bit about these and I am so hopeful that we will see more of these be developed and approved for use. As we were finishing up he said “you are doing great, I would not put you in any trial..you are cured”…I started to cry which I guess kind of confused him….he didn’t know if I was happy or upset about not going into any trials… I got up and gave him a big hug and told him how much I love to hear him say that I am cured. As he walked out he looked back and said “I don’t just say that to make you feel better…”




On my way home from work the surgeon called...it's never good when they call instead of the nurse....she said that the ultrasound showed the endometrial lining had increased from 8mm to 13 mms and that was too much of an increase that quickly. Thickening of the lining can be a sign of pre cancer or cancer of the uterus. It can also just be from the meds or menopause...UGH!! We are going to do a uterine biopsy on the 8th - this will check to see if there are any cancer cells present. She explained everything very well and said that she is very optimistic that we will NOT find cancer. I'm just sick of tests and more waiting but hopefully everything will turn out just fine...I had a uterine biopsy when I was first diagnosed. It is done in the office and it goes pretty quick...it's pretty painful but as long as it's quick and I don't get anesthesia I am ok with it.


It’s already been a long week and I am so ready for the long weekend. My heart has been heavy worrying about JD and family. They had a really rough weekend with seizures and were back and forth to the hospital a couple of times. When I got home tonight I heard that he had just had another 10 minute long seizure and they were taking him by ambulance to Indy. I hate that they have to go thru any of this but Sue has such amazing faith…she is certainly an inspiration to so many. Please keep them in your prayers!!!



Speaking of Sue…HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR FRIEND – I love you…she is a 4th of July baby!!!



The rest of the Middleton clan is just fine..looking forward to a fun 4th of July weekend with family and an extra day off from work!! YIPPEE!



Jillian lost BOTH of her two front teeth on Saturday…the permanent teeth were already pushing in behind so she will not be toothless for too long. We spent a lot of time at the pool and had a fun night at the Hulefeld’s on Saturday night. We played Rack-O – do you remember that game?? I KICKED their butts! I took all the fixins to make banana splits after dinner…they were awesome and the kids enjoyed it…a perfect summer treat! I missed the Strawberry Hill Sunday Night Pool Party – Maria planned a great Fiesta. I went out for Mexican with a group of friends but was able to stop by the pool afterwards for dessert.



I was very sad to hear about Nick Mayer passing away this week. My thoughts and prayers go out to his entire family. I will always remember us having our picture taken together at Eric’s graduation party and joking about being “Bald Buddies”…he was being treated for lung cancer….



Have a safe and fun 4th of July....

Menopausal Women Are Hotter!

My new motto!

Nothing new to report...just came across this saying and liked it....

Ultrasound in the morning...Dr B on Tuesday...will report back in after that!

An unexpected ultrasound...

Update: the ultrasound was cancelled due to the power being out last night...we had some rough storms roll in over the night. They finally called and told me to come at 7:30 on Monday. I kept searching with Dr. Google today and did see that it is very rare to bleed on arimidex but maybe that is what is going on...I see Dr. B. on Tuesday so hopefully he will make me feel better about all of this.

Please say an extra prayer for JD...not sure what is going on but I read that he is at the hspital due to a seizure tonight...I'm sure Sue and Jack are terrified...please pray that it is not the tumor.....


Well, I have to go in to the OBGYNs office at 7:30 tomorrow for an ultrasound. I could not believe that I was feeling like I was going to have a period this week....the headache, cramps, zits...all too familiar. The spotting started today...I wasn't too concerned but I thought I should check in with the surgeon...the nurse that took the call seemed very alarmed when I told her what was going on and said she would check with the doctor and call me back...within a few minutes they called back to say come in for an ultrasound at 7:30....great...now I am worried...of course "Dr. Google" just comes up with uterine cancer or other stupid cancers....time to quit the google searches!!! Have I said lately how much I HATE CANCER?????

So sad about Farrah today....she fought such a courageous battle...I wish she and Ryan would have been able to get married....Barbara Walter's said theirs was the greatest of Hollywood love stories..her suffering is now over and I am thankful for that....

Happy Father's Day...

I hope all the Dad's out there had a fantastic Father's Day...Happy Belated B-day to my nephew Eric and my friend Penny!

Wow – summer is flying by…we have been keeping busy but having lots of fun. This past weekend was crazy…Jillian finished up her week of vacation bible school on Thursday so she was pretty tired by the time Friday rolled around. We had made plans on Friday night to attend the Midsummer Arts Festival and even though the heat index was 100 she and I still went and had a great time. Bret was down in Cinci at a Red’s game with some friends. After the art fest I dropped Jillian off at home with Tyler and went to a party for the Mother’s and More group….it was a couples dinner and I was amazed by how many people I had “connections” with. One gal grew up in Amherst which was very close to Vermilion and one of our big high school rivals. One of the husbands grew up in Crawfordsville where I lived for 11 years after leaving Vermilion and then another husband grew up in Stone Mountain, GA which bordered Conyers which was where I worked when we lived down there….who knew Cinci was such a melting pot!! Anyway, it was a great party.



On Saturday we packed up the van and headed over to Bart’s to celebrate Father’s Day with Bret’s family. Bret’s Dad and Nancy met us over there. We had a fun day watching the kids swim and play together and a nice cook out that afternoon. I had come up with a plan that we should all sleep out in tents….I don’t think anyone except Jillian was too excited about my plan but almost everyone had agreed that we would do it. All the kids were very excited as tents started to go up but Bart could not locate their family tent so a great deal of confusion was created trying to figure out a plan of who would sleep where??? I finally suggested that I would sleep with all of the kids in the Galberg Taj Mahal tent that we had borrowed from our wonderful neighbors. The kids all agreed to the plan (all the adults were more than willing to agree) so we started loading in air mattresses, inflatable sleeping bags, stuffed animals, favorite blankets and pillows, books, etc. While we were fixing s’mores, playing with glow sticks and catching lightning bugs Hollyn decided her tummy didn’t feel well and she should probably sleep inside…1 down…..it was finally time for us all to load into the tent. Once we got everyone in the tent and into their agreed upon sleeping position Chance announced that “he really didn’t like new things (sleeping in a tent) and since he didn’t have his night light he should probably sleep inside…2 down….Jillian and Paige and I settled in and decided we would each make up princess tales to share….we did that for a while and when I said it was time to quiet down Paige (the youngest of the group) decided she was afraid of the dark and should probably sleep inside…3 down….that left Jillian and I in the BIG tent with 2 queen size air mattresses, 3 blow up sleeping bags, 1 normal sleeping bag and a variety of blankets, pillows, stuffed animals and books. Jillian decided she wanted to get out of her inflatable bed and sleep with me so the two of us cuddled up in the corner of the tent and went to sleep….until the cat tried to attack me thru the screen…scared the shit out of me and since it was dark I didn’t realize it was Bart and Amy’s cat and it probably would have been much happier in the house just like all their kids! You all know how much I “love” cats but don’t worry…I didn’t kill it or anything like that…just did my best to “strongly encourage” it to go away….it came back…scared the shit out of me again…..by 6:00 the cat was pretty frustrated and it launched a major attack on the screen right by my head…TENT TIME WAS OVER!!! I grabbed my favorite pillows and Jillian and into the house we went. I went downstairs to the comfy guest bed and slept a few hours. Now I know why I don’t camp very often but I am glad that we did it…J



After loading everything back in the van it was time to head home. Once we unpacked we spent the afternoon at the pool and then that evening we had a wonderful Father’s Day Cookout with our neighbors….what a weekend but it really was a great one with many great memories!



Not much new with medical issues. I got new glasses a few weeks ago and I was amazed how nervous I was during the exam…I think it’s that stupid air puffer but you would think that after everything that I have had done to me this would be a breeze! I also went for my yearly skin cancer screening and all was fine with that. Next week I go for my three month check up with Dr. B. Last Wednesday marked 21 months that I have been cancer free….I am really looking forward to hitting that two year mark in September. I don’t have much to talk to Dr. B. about next week. The main topic will be hair loss…yep, I think I am losing hair again or it is thinning quickly. From my research I have found that it is a “not so common” side affect of the aromatase inhibitor (arimidex) that I started taking in May after having my ovaries removed. The plan is that I will take this drug for 4 more years which should reduce my risk of recurrence. Within the last few weeks I have really noticed my hair coming out in the shower and it’s starting to look thin in the front. This obviously does not make me happy….we will just have to wait and see what his opinion is next week…UGH, cancer…the gift that just keeps on giving….



I have finally gotten some motivation to start thinking about a revision surgery on the foobs and finishing them up with tats. I have made an appt with another plastic surgeon to get a second opinion on what my options are to fix some of the denting, rippling, etc. on the current ones. I have also been researching tattoos in place of nips….I don’t think there is anyone in Cinci that does this…I have found two permanent make-up artists that are now offering this service to breast reconstruction patients…they call it 3-D nipples because it basically is a tattoo of the nipple and areola but from what I have seen they just look like the real deal…it will be a while before I am ready for that stage but I know I just need to go ahead and get moving again…I just think it will make me feel better and not like I am still in the middle of all this…maybe some closure…



Well, that’s probably more than enough info on nips, tattoos, etc. Thanks for checking in on us. I hope everyone is having a great summer full of wonderful memories…cherish each and every moment…life is short!

A great message!

"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST BECAUSE HE GIVES ME STRENGTH"

Jillian was singing this on the way home from vacation bible school (pirate theme)...it was so sweet and it just made my heart feel good!!

A few pics from the weekend!

It would appear that I have become a little addicted to snapping photos of our friends and family...I love it...can't wait to get home and get them downloaded. These are a few from last weekend. We had our neighborhool end of year pool/pizza party on Fri night. On Saturday we went to stay with the Hulefeld's down on the Ohio River...Sunday eve we were back and ready for our Sunday Night Pool Party ...a perfect weekend with wonderful friends!!!! I hope you enjoy the pics!

All is well!!

Just a quick note to say all is well. So thankful today that JD is doing so great with his new chemo plan!!! I will type more later...too tired tonight...long day - 11 hour road trip up to northern Ohio to have a meeting with a customer...I just sat in the passenger seat and "yapped" poor Mark's ear off all day...poor Mark!! I did convince him that we needed to stop and eat at Dutch Heritage on the way back...YUMMY Amish cooking- two servings of cream corn and chocolate drizzled peanut butter cookies...my tummy is very happy tonight!!

Thanks for checking in!

A Freshman and a 1st Grader!

The kids are officially done with school...wow! Hard to imagine another year behind us. Not much new to report....we had a close call with tonadoes on Saturday...they came way to close to our neighborhood but we just had some little limbs down and everyone was fine....more big storms heading this way right now so it may be a late night tonight.

We had a good weekend...Jillian had her last soccer game Saturday morning and then she went to a slumber party. On Sunday we attented a wonderful graduation open house at the Maxwell's and then we had a fun going away party for Jess as she prepares for her big trip Columbia...we will miss our sweet girl.

That's about all for now...thanks for checking in!

Need another day off!!

I wish this was a 4 day weekend vs. a 3 day weekend....it has been a great weekend and I am not ready to go back to work. We started the weekend off with a night out to celebrate Beth's b-day and Reese's 40th b-day. It was a perfect way to start the long weekend. Saturday was HOT---I don't know what the temp was but I was out looking for flowers to plant at 8:30 in the morning and the sweat was just rolling off of me...how gross! How will I ever survive the hot days of summer when I sweat like this??? After hours of searching and driving to too many different places I finally found what I wanted...after that it was off to the pool. Saturday was the first day that it was open and the water was COLD...the kids just don't seem to mind it...we Mom's hang out on the stairs to stay cool. On Sunday we went to two cook-outs...again it was so darn hot....after the first cook-out I actually felt kind of sick and had a headache....I just couldn't seem to cool down. Our 2nd cookout was our first Sunday Night Cookout at the pool which it was of my favorite activities of summer. Bret was in charge of the grill so we got everything packed up and went to the pool....it finally clouded up a little and cooled off just a little. We had a great dinner (I made Death by Chocolate for the first time...YUMMY!!) and we had so much fun hanging out with friends. Jillian is such a little fish...her head doesn't even touch the pillow before she falls asleep after a day at the pool...she loves swimming! Beth worked with her in the deep end because she wanted to learn how to dive...there were lots of belly flops but she keeps on trying...I love her determination at times like this. We were the last ones to leave at 9 when the pool closed...the guys had started some kind of dominoes game at the pool and moved the game to our house...I was wiped out so Jillian and I went right to bed and let the guys have their fun.

Today has been a lazy day...Jillian just woke up from a nap...she never takes naps so I know the weekend has worn her out. The rain finally arrived which is a good thing for our new flowers.

I'm not sure how many of you watched Farrah's Story last week. I thought it was an incredible documentary about living life with cancer. There has been a lot of debate about all that was shown...the treatments, the vomiting, the pain, the fear and the realization that the cancer had returned. I thought the show was so well done and I think it is great that she chose to share her story. Unless you have known someone with Stage IV cancer I don't think that you have any idea of what that journey is like. I think the documentary showed that no matter how much money you have you cannot "buy" a cure. I think it was good that it showed the different types of treatment that she was able to receive in Germany because I hope that we all will continue to help raise money for cancer research in hopes that new treatments will someday be available in the US. It definitely was not an easy show to watch...her battle with cancer has been so much harder than mine but there were so many moments that I could relate to..the neausea, the hair loss, the fear - those are things that every cancer patient must unfortunately experience. She really wanted to show all of the emotions and fears that come with a cancer diagnosis. I have not heard any recent news on how she is doing but at the end of the show she was not doing well at all...I am hoping her doctors can come up with something to help her....she is an incredible fighter and she just wants to live.

It was great to hear that JD's MRI came back clean this week...he has been doing chemo for 6 months....it was so wonderful to see that the chemo is working to kill the cancer cells and keep the tumor from returning in his brain. It has been a long battle for them and it has not been easy...they all amaze me with their strength each and every day.

This week I have got to start exercising again....I was in a pretty good routine until this last surgery...I have become VERY lazy!! I have a nice walking trail across the street from where I work and I belong to the gym around the corner from where I work...I have NO excuses and I always feel better on the days that I exercise...I just hope the motivation comes back!!!

Thanks for checking in...have a great week!