All is well....

Well, I am feeling much better this Sunday than I was compared to last Sunday....besides all the physical side affects of raging hormones the emotional craziness was much worse....let's hope we don't have to do that every month! I will see Dr. B. on Tuesday this week to go over all this and see what my options are.

Other than that we are all fine. Tyler had a great b-day. I have included a couple pics from that night...I love to see him and Jillian having fun together like that. She really knows how to "push his buttons" most days so we don't get too many pics like that! I took her to see Charlotte's Web at the Children's Theater downtown yesterday so that was fun to do together. I was glad to see the weekend get here...Bret was sick with a pretty bad cold early in the week and then Jillian took her turn with the virile infection that seems to be running rampant around this area...she was just down for 2 days but you could tell she was not feeling well...let's hope we have seen the end of winter viruses around here for this year!

On Saturday afternoon I had the pleasure of attending a Next Steps ASHA Tea Party. A variety of products ranging from purses, totes, table linens, jewelry, notecards, etc. are produced in Dhaka city Bangladesh by poor teenage girls and women working with the help and ecomonic assistance of the Scottish charity - Meider Jonno Asha (Hope for Girls). These products are shown in a home setting and sold at very reasonable prices. All of the profits go towards continuing the work with the girls in Bangladesh. The charity started with a goal of bringing literacy to this poor and underpriveledged group and now they are able to bring programs to them to help them get into school and learn to become independant. All of the products they had made were just beautiful and it was hard to choose. I ended up with a small handbag and several handmade cards....the cards were really my favorite because each was signed by the young woman that designed it....I look forward to sending them to special friends for special occasions. This was a great chance to learn about a new non profit organization that is doing amazing things for these women. There was a good turnout so I think quite a bit of money was raised which will help bring new programs to them and help them to improve their craft...when you hear about how these young girls live it just makes you so thankful for what we have and what we must not take for granted...

Have a good week...prayers going out to JD and family this week...love you guys!!!

A year later....

This weekend last year I was getting ready for my mastectomy...it has been a tough few days. I guess I am surprised at how much I keep thinking about it. I don't regret my decision and really never have but I guess it's just hard to see where I am a year later with the reconstruction. It has been my decision to slow things down and put off more sugeries but maybe that wasn't the best decision..maybe it bothers me more than I really think. I know..."I look fine in clothes" but these scars, dents, ripples and all the "other" issues are something I have to see EVERY day. Oh well, enough about that. I think my hormones are going crazy so that probably doesn't help the "mental state". I think my body is attempting to come out of "chemopause"...chemotherapy induced menopause. For the past couple of months I have been having all the symptoms that I used to have before my periods. The Lupron shots are supposed to prevent this from happening but it feels like there is one heck of a battle going on between the Lupron and my ovaries. I will see Dr. B. in April so we will need to talk about going to a monthly shot or just stopping the shots completely to see what happens. When we discussed this at the end of the year he had said that if we let my ovaries start functioning again I would probably have the same problems that I used to have every month and then we would talk about getting just the ovaries out or doing a hysterectomy....I hate the idea of more surgery but the horrible headaches and cramping I have had these past couple of months are motivation to get it done....

On a happier note...Tyler turns 14 on Tuesday...Wow...hard to believe...he is so much taller than me now and his voice is starting to change. Sometimes I look at him and just find it hard to believe how old he is getting...he has been moving very slow today (even slower than usual)....his football team along with the Kings HS football teams delivered 20,000 bags of mulch yesterday! Yes, I said 20,000! That is their big fundraiser for the year...he was whipped when he got home last night! I have included a pic that I took of him Friday night...his bowl that he made in art class was selected to be on display at the Night of Knights (Kings Jr High & High School night to showcase their art, music, etc). Thankfully, the weather was perfect for them...we have had a beautiful weekend here. We finished it off by going over to the Galberg's for s'mores tonight...YUM! Jillian and I actually had 2 desserts tonight...she and I baked a Peach Cobbler Cake this morning...I don't recommend it....too peachy. I asked her last week... "what is your favorite thing to do with Mommy?" - answer - "bake a cake!" So of course, I had to make sure we baked a cake this weekend....it really doesn't matter what it tastes like, it's the time spent together that really matters....

Monday update....

Weekends just go by too fast...here we are again at the start of another work week...UGH! We had another little taste of some spring weather here this weekend so that was nice. I had Bunco on Saturday night which is always a lot of fun and yesterday a group of us took our daughters to see the musical Annie. It was a nice surprise for me to run into one of my friends that I had met during breast cancer treatment so I invited her to come and sit with us and that gave us a little time to catch up with each other. Thankfully, she is doing really well after her treatment and surgeries...just trying to find the new "normal"....

Other than that we are all fine which is a blessing every day! Prayers going out this week to Sue, JD and family - we love you guys!

Have a good week!

A little taste of Spring!!

76 degrees!! Wow, it's about time we had a little warm weather. Jillian had her recital for tap and ballet so the weekend was full of things to do for that. The entire recital was very cute and she loves to be on stage!!

Kay came down for a visit while her family went to play in the mud....we started our morning off with a walk around Landen lake then shopped, sat in the sun and went out for a little last night to dance after the dance recital and ice cream with Bret and the kids. It was a great weekend and nice to spend the time together!!!

Happy 21st Birthday to my niece Amanda this week....wow - I can't believe you are going to be 21...it just doesn't seem possible that the first "baby" in the Deel will now be a "legal adult"!!

More silicone & saline than Dallas has seen in a long time!!

Looking down from the 11th floor onto the expo area

The expo area of the conference

The Party Bus..coming back from the Red River Dance Hall

This is as close as I got to the mechanical bull...kind of hard to see him..

Angela and I before dinner on Saturday

These are some of the gals from my online support group



Before I talk about the conference I want to say what a wonderful relief it was to hear that JD’s MRI came back clear on Friday…thanks to everyone that said an extra prayer for all of them last week!

The breast cancer conference was an incredible experience. There were over 800 attendees…probably between 150-200 were from my online support group. It was so great to finally meet so many of these women in person that I have talked to online since my diagnosis…everyone was just happy to have the chance to attend and wanted to relax and have fun together…kind of like a big family reunion or class reunion except I don’t think too many foobs are “flashed” at those kind of events like they were here….in private of course!!!

The medical sessions were great. I learned more about what my options are for revisions on my foobs and also had the chance to talk to a lot of other girls that had issues very similar to mine. On Sunday morning I attended a great session that focused on the stress and anxiety that young cancer patients experience and how very different our cancer experience is compared to someone diagnosed at a much older age. The speaker gave several examples of situations she had helped patients with and it just helps to know that my fears and anxieties are very normal in this type of situation.

They had an expo set up that we were able to attend in between sessions…there were all types of vendors selling pink ribbon stuff, medical stuff like lymphedema sleeves, wigs, and bras and there were all types of non profit organizations that offer support to breast cancer patients. There were also several companies there that provide the different medical tests like the genetic testing, mammograms, and Oncotype. I spent a great deal of time with one of the reps that works for Genomic Health that is the only company that provides the Oncotype test. This is the test that completely changed my treatment plan because my score came back so high (88 out of 100). Poor Dr. B. has had to go over the way this test is performed and what that meant about my tumor at least 10 times but this rep was able to pull out several slides to really help me understand the test procedure and my results…of course I had to ask if anyone had a score as high as mine….that 88 has always scared me to death. He was able to show me a graph and there have been very few women out of the thousands that have been tested that scored higher than me….2 had scores of 100….the most important thing for me to remember is that I am lucky that this fairly new test was available to me and that insurance approved for me to have it (my tumor did not meet the current criteria in size to be tested). If I had not had the test I would not have been given chemo and their results show I would have had over a 30% chance of having a recurrence due to the aggressiveness of the tumor. The rep was very interested in my case and asked me if I would be interested in helping them educate patients and healthcare providers on their services. There are still oncologists out there that base treatment decisions solely on tumor size and I am an example of how wrong that thought process could have been for me. He wants Dr. B. to contact them to go over my case and I am to contact them about using my story on their informational website/brochures, etc. I still wish I didn’t have that score of 88 but maybe my situation will convince more doctors to have newly diagnosed patients with VERY small tumors tested.

Obviously, the best part of the weekend was having the chance talk with other survivors. We were given a lot of time to do that and the Hilton Anatole is HUGE so there was always a group gathering somewhere. The Friday night excursion to the Red River Cowboy Dance Hall was very entertaining! I haven’t seen that many cowboys since Bret and I went to Oklahoma shortly after we were married. These folks take dancing way to serious! Later at night they kind of mixed things up and played some different types of music so everyone was able to get out and dance….At one point we probably had 25 survivors up on a long narrow stage gettin’ their groove on….what a sight. Many girls tried their luck with the mechanical bull…it was hysterical to watch them and that is what I did…I had no interest in taking a turn!

On Saturday night after dinner they had a DJ so again everyone had fun dancing…after that Patty Brisben (founder of Pure Romance) hosted a “Girl’s Night In” Party. I have never been to one of those parties but it was hysterical…she gave away lots of “toys” after explaining them. It was just so much fun to see everyone relaxing and having a great time.

A funny thing did happen on my way to Dallas. I bumped in to Dr. B at the Delta counter at the airport. The last time I had seen him was when I found the lump. He asked about how I was feeling and then asked some question about the incision…without even thinking I just pulled my shirt open to show him and he said “good, looks like it is doing ok”….right then I looked over his shoulder and saw some guy giving us the double take like what in the world is she doing flashing this guy here in the airport!! Ooops…I guess I am just so used to seeing him in his office and I am always willing to show anyone my new battle wounds….guess I should think twice before doing that!!

Every night was a late one and the mornings started too early but I wouldn’t change a thing about the weekend. I formed new friendships with women from all over the country and Canada…some were Stage I and some were Stage IV…some were newly diagnosed while others had been fighting for years but we all had that “connection” that forms an instant bond. I look forward to continuing to grow those relationships with these incredible women. I am already looking forward to the 2010 conference in Atlanta!