Back to work..

So, it's back to work tomorrow...I am feeling fine and it's time.

Last week I saw the plastic surgeon on Monday. She said everything looked fine and I should come back in a month. We had a very long conversation about the next step. She strongly prefers to create a nipple and areola surgically. I talked to her about just doing a tattoo to make it look like a nipple and areola but she won't do it. I told her that I have seen photos of tattoos but she isn't going to budge. I did some research and found another doctor in the area that will do it. I talked to the nurse and she said I would need to come in so they can evaluate the scars to see if they will accept the tattoo. I am not in any rush so I told them I will call back later...

I also had an appt. with Dr. B. My blood work and exam all looked good so now I graduate to 6 month appts vs. 3 months. It's great to get to this milestone..two years ago this date seemed so far off. When you're first diagnosed you just live in the moment and the fear of not beating this horrible disease controls everything you do. You try so hard to not let the disease control your life but that is such a hard thing to do....the fear is always there. Over time it gets easier and today it's great that I don't think about it all the time!!!!

Well, I am not really in the mood to write so I think I will just sign off for now.....as always, thanks so much for checking in!!!!!

Sunday update..

Not much new here with the Middleton's. Bret is down in Florida until Thursday for the annual Grainger show. I had a great plan that Tyler was going to be cooking dinner for us each night...I would give him instructions and he would do the work...he was THRILLED with that plan...NOT! Well, my wonderful neighbors had a different plan...they are cooking for us each night that Bret is gone. They are just too good to us, they have taken care of us so many times and we can never say thank you enough. We are very blessed!!!

I have gotten out a little the last few days. The worst part is my back starts hurting...it's kind of weird how I have always had back pain with all the procedures..even the the fills I had with the expanders hurt the most in my back which makes no sense at all. The pain on the right foob is still there...it's not constant but when it hits I can't move. It's happening less frequently so I just hope that it happens less and less as the days go by.

With the earthquake in Haiti I find myself addicted to the news. It is just such a horrible tragedy. I saw an interview with a missionary that was talking about rebuilding Haiti and describing the spirit of the Haitian people. He said they accept that their lives will mostly be filled with poverty...that has really impacted me for some reason. Can you imagine if that was the only expectation that you had in life. I talked with the kids about it over dinner last night. I was telling them about the baby that survived for three days and was just fine....I told them about children that were dancing and playing while living in tents. We have so much and live such good lives and we all need to be thankful for what we have. I worry so much about the children in Haiti, they make up a significant portion of the population there and so many are now lost and wandering on their own. It's so scary to think about all the prisoners from the prison out doing whatever they want...this is a country that has a history of selling their children into slavery for labor and also for sex. There are so many people all over that want to give these children safe, loving homes but right now there seems to be no way to get those kids out of there. I wish for once there was a way to get around laws, beauocracy and governments and give these kids a fair chance at life. I guess all we can do is pray, remember to be thankful for all that we have and send money....

Thanks for checking in...

Just another bad hair day....

Have to start off with this...Bret looks at me this morning and asks me if I want help with my hair....ok, I was having a bad hair day but how bad is it when a guy that barely has any hair thinks you are having a bad hair day. Needless to say I took care of it myself...did you know you can fix your hair only moving your forearms. I am frustrated daily by how hard it is to accomplish the most basic tasks in life AND not use my arms...UGH!!!!!!

We went to the surgeon today and of course I was thrilled to pitch that stupid surgical bra in the trash. She was pleased with how things look. They are definetely closer together and higher. She was able to remove some skin from the bottom of each side. Honestly, I think bottom of my new foobs are going to look fabulous...too bad no one ever sees that side!! The scarred, dented area in the middle is better...I would be content if they would stay like this. I asked her if there was swelling and she did not think there was much if any. I asked this because after the last surgery I thought the center looked much better until the swelling went down....now we just have to wait and see. The other thing that is really bizarre is that my right foob gurgles....I have had a lot of odd things happen to my body on this journey but this one is odd.....I worried that there was a big air pocket in there but she said there is still some fluid that the body will absorb and I am hearing that fluid moving with the implant when I move.

I was wiped out when we got home....took a little nap and then took a long hot shower....my first "real one" since last Wednesday morning.....it felt wonderful!

The plan right now is to wear an underwire bra 24 hours a day....I go back to the surgeon in 2 weeks. Sticking an underwire into these incisions really sucks..enough said.

Thanks for checking in!

Sunday update...

Still moving pretty slow around here. I am feeling ok just having some really bad pain around the right side incision. There are times it just takes my breath away and I just cannot get comfortable. I will see the surgeon tomorrow and should be able to move from the surgical bra to an underwire bra.

I haven't been out of the house since surgery....I am fine with just hibernating. Bret went out and picked up Bob Evans for breakfast for all of us. Today is the first time I have wanted to eat...I love their Banana Pecan Pancakes!!

Friends have been helping out and keeping Jillian busy...we really appreciate that. She and Bret went sled riding yesterday....she tells me she and Bret raced Joe and Jessica. She said the girls rode down on their Dads backs....wouldn't you love to see a video of that ride down the hill????

Thanks for checking in and stay warm!

Recovery is going well...

Well, even though I still have some pain I am done with the heavy duty meds...can't stand the way they make me feel...my head is messed up, I am itchy and I was up most of last night not able to sleep. I am switching over to ibuprofen.

I am being very well taken care of. The kids had a snow day today so Jillian would come up to my room and read the "menu" to me. She would circle the items I wanted and then she and Bret would prepare the meal. I might just get used to that type of treatment. It snowed most of the day...I think we ended up with maybe 3 inches of snow. Kathleen let Jillian go sled riding with them and she had a great time.

It's so hard to not use my arms....things you never think of..reaching for something in the closet, turning the fan on and off, etc.

Thanks to everyone for the messages and offers to help....we are thankful to be surrounded by so many great friends and family!!!

Home and resting..

I am home and doing fine...forgive me if thoughts are a little random here....it's the drugs.

My surgery got moved up at the last minute yesterday so we were at the hospital by 6:00 this morning. Nurse was able to get IV in on first try...good way to start the day. I was thrilled to have Beth (Carissa's friend) doing my anesthesia again...she is so sweet and funny and takes WONDERFUL care of me. Nurses were great. Surgery lasted about 1 1/2 hrs. Thankfully I don't remember much about recovery except saying I feel a little sick and that my lips were so dry.....no Elvis or other wacky characters were present in OR recovery. I had a really hard time waking up....I can remember the nurse commenting on that....got back in the room and took another nap and then it was time to pack up and hit the bumpy road home...ouch!! Bret does try but there is only so much you can do when driving in the city! I have beeen asleep all afternoon. The torture vest is still a torture vest....I swear doc puts me in a size 2...have you seen me???? Nothing on me has ever been a size 2! I will go back to see her early next week and will be able to switch to an underwire bra. I am pretty sore so I will take another pill soon and slip back into la-la land. Bret and Tyler are taking very good care of me....haven't seen Jillian yet, she is at tumbling with Bret and should be home soon.

Thanks for checking in and thanks for all the messages today of well wishes!! Surgery #10 is HISTORY! YEAH!

New Foobs for the New Year....

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a good holiday. We had a very nice one but I am glad to see the end of December and the start of a new year. It’s like we try to take 12 months of activities and pack them into the month of December…way too much stress for me….you know my motto, “NO DRAMA”!! Going to try to keep living that in 2010 also. We were able to get with both of our families during the month so it was great to spend time with everyone. The kids both seemed happy with their gifts so I guess for this year we can just say “mission accomplished”.



So have you made any New Years Resolutions? I try hard NOT to do that each year and that strategy works out pretty good for me….low expectations! I heard Dr. Oz on the radio today talking about weight loss. He said one of the easiest things to do is stop eating anything white…white bread, anything with white sugar, white flour…I will just stop right there because those few things probably make up 98% of my diet. Guess I won’t be trying that diet plan any time soon. Bret has started exercising and trying to eat better so I am hoping that once I get this surgery behind me I can get motivated to try to get into shape and eat better. If I don’t start something soon I am going to have to invest in a new wardrobe because nothing is going to fit…gotta love the perks of menopause!!!



I am as ready as I can be for surgery on Wednesday morning. I am scheduled for 10:30. I didn’t even ask how long it would be…I guess it depends on how much she thinks she can do once she gets everything opened back up. Bret will put an update on here once I am done. I am not really nervous about surgery. What I am dreading the most is wearing that HORRIBLE surgical bra. It really is torture but I have to wear it for a week or ten days so everything stays where it is supposed to be during healing. The most important thing once I am at home is not using my arms too much. I can look back at my last surgery and see things that I did that I shouldn't have done. Now I know the ramifications of doing those things so I am really determined to use my arms as little as possible and definitely not do anything that isn’t absolutely necessary. I can remember stretching really far to get something a few weeks after my last surgery. I would swear I heard a stitch or stitches pop and felt pain shoot across my chest. Once you start to feel better it’s easy to forget and just go back to doing things you normally would do but when you think about how moving your upper arms really does involve your chest muscles it’s easier to understand why it is important to give that area as much time as possible to heal internally as possible. Since this is my 9th surgical procedure at Good Sam Hospital I am being very optimistic that we won’t have any nausea problems with anesthesia. Carissa has even got me hooked up with the best anesthesia team so I am very happy about that. Let’s just hope that I don’t end up laying next to “Elvis” again in the recovery room as he repeatedly asks why he is having pain after his surgery…that once in a lifetime experience was plenty for this gal!!!



Thanks for the prayers that all will go well…I will try to do an update when “the fog clears”!!!