Preparing for another day at the hospital...

I am trying to get everything organized so we can get up early tomorrow and get to the hospital. We need to check in at 8 for the heart test and as soon as that is finished we will move over to outpatient surgery. I will have local anesthesia and it should take no more than 30 minutes for Dr. K. to insert the port. I am really not nervous about any of the stuff going on tomorrow but I am getting very nervous about starting the chemo. My first appt. is this Thursday at 2. It was really hard to talk to Tyler this weekend about losing my hair but he did okay with it. For me losing my hair is harder emotionally than having the mastectomy. It's sad to me that so many people have to go through this. We live in a world where appearances are so important.....I am really dreading the first time that I have to see myself with no hair. I know it is only temporary and I pray that I will have the strength to just deal with it and look forward to putting this entire experience behind me. I did visit a wig shop on my lunch today. I was terrified to walk in there because I thought I would start crying. Once I started looking around I was actually surprised at how nice some of the wigs looked. Right away I found a curly one that was in a red shade similar to mine. One of the clerks put me in a chair and let me try it on. I was pretty happy with how realistic it looked. I was shocked to see that it was almost $300. Everything I have read says that you should have at least 2 and so far it sounds like insurance does not cover any of the expense. It seems unfair that insurance would pay for breast reconstruction or breast prosthesis but they expect women to walk around for several months wearing a scarf or hat??? At this point can't even imagine going out in public without a wig on but they say they are so uncomfortable so I might change my mind down the road....I know I need to stop worrying about things that are a few weeks away and just focus on getting through tomorrow....my prayer tonight is for some peace and that God will be with Dr. K. and the other medical staff as they operate on me tommorrow.