It has been a really busy weekend and what is up with this hot weather....I hate hot weather!! Add some hot flashes in there and I am totally miserable...I have taken three cold showers today just to get some relief....our air conditioner broke down yesterday....just in time for Bret to return home from his golf trip in GA where it was 100 degrees! Luckily, we found someone to come and repair it this morning. The hats, scarves and wigs are going to have to come off for good pretty soon...no matter how much that I hate the way I look it is getting so uncomfortable to keep my head covered with this heat.
Happy Graduation Weekend to my nephew Eric....I hope you had a wonderful weekend! Looking forward to celebrating with you in a few weeks!
Friday night the kids and I went to our neighborhood "end of the school year" pool party. It was hot and miserable but good to see everyone. Saturday evening I went to see Sex and the City....I have not seen many of the episodes on TV but it was a good movie...today was kind of a whirlwind...Vicki and I took Jillian and Lauren to King's Island in the morning. After that I met some girls for a late lunch. Then Jillian and I went up to the pool and then went to Kathleen's to grill out with her and the girls....I am ready to crash! Putting on that bathing suit and going out in front of friends always sucks but today I saw how much harder it could really be. Since our pool isn't heated I don't normally get in until July but it was just too hot today. I could have bought a mastectomy swimsuit that had fake boobs in it but it just seemed like such a waste since I am getting weekly fills. After sitting up there and sweating buckets I finally just pulled off my cover up (while standing right by the stairs) and got in a quickly as I could.
Anyway, back to our new friends. I received and email from a member of my Mothers and More group last week telling me about another member that was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She asked me if it would be ok for her to pass along my contact info....she thought I might be able to help her out. I look back to when I was first diagnosed and I didn't want to talk to someone else that had cancer....I have never really understood why that was...it was almost like a fear of hearing that persons story or maybe if I talked to someone I actually knew it would make it too real. Looking back I see that woman like Penny and Dorothy probably could have really helped me better understand some of the things that I was going thru but since I didn't reach out to them they were just very kind and continually let me know that they were there for me...what wonderful, strong women they are!
I went ahead and emailed the gal she told me about and gave her my history...I told her that I would love to help her out in any way and that she could contact me. I heard back from her the next day and we made plans to get together Saturday morning. We were hoping to meet at our pool but it was raining so she and her daughter just came over to the house. Her daughter is a few months younger than Jillian. We were shocked when we first met each other because they are very similar in height, hair style, etc. They hit it off right away and played well together.
She is just really beginning her "cancer journey" so we went over all her info...I just kept telling her that I understood what she is going thru and I think that helped in some small way. She is pretty overwhelmed right now with all the tests she is going thru to put together a treatment plan and like me, her biggest fear is how will all of this affect her daughter. I told her that to me, that is probably the worst part of all of this...what will our kids remember about this...it just seems so unfair for them. I tried to fill her in on other things that I have learned during all of this...we looked at my wigs and scarves and I told her where I bought everything. I offered to go wig shopping with her when the time comes....
we spent lots of time talking about chemo and surgeries....I think she is a lot like I was...the fear of the unknown is almost worse than going thru it...you just want to get it over and get thru it. She is a strong, vibrant woman and I believe that she is going to do fine.
It is so sad to see someone else have to go thru this....I know we will continue to grow our friendship and I just hope that in some way my experience will help make hers just a little bit easier...all of this has to have some purpose behind it...I want to do something good with it....it's just too bad that we can't find a cure....
2 comments:
Wow, I really think you have found your "calling". Counseling other women with the same fears as yours is just up your ally. You have such a way with words and can put things in perspective like no one else I know! Good for you! And, yes, go ahead and get rid of those hats and scarves. It's not what's on the outside that counts, you know that!!
Love you,
Kay
HI Jan - always nice to hear your updates. After reading today's entry I thought to myself - it would be "interesting" to go back and read thru your entries again - and count how many people who have ALREADY crossed your path, and how you have helped them. Or even how many people have "been there" for you... (no accidents!) You know, most people handle and face things differently, so why you felt the way you did in the beginning is no surprise. I remember when JD got sick, some people contacted me who had brain tumors, or who knew someone - but I wasn't interested in that help at that point either.... It's just weird. But what you are doing is absolulety PERFECT. You are putting yourself "out there" and leaving the ball in these others court. Very sensitive to their wants and needs. You are such a compassionate, generous, giving person with a positive outlook on life that I can see you being an answer to prayer for people out there who need that support that you can give them.... True Jan form - always willing to help... I'm certain losing the wigs/scarf's would be quite the step - but hey - I say go for it! There is NO REASON in this world for you to be miserably hot and uncomfortable. It's just a matter of time that your hair will be back, full and beautiful! Well, once again, I've rambled! Love you. Take care..... Sue
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