Well, its 2:00 am on Monday morning and I am starting to come out of the chemo fog...Jillian has been coughing all night, Bret is snoring and the wind is beating something against the side of the house so I finally decided to get up....for the first time since around noon on Friday I feel like I can almost think clearly. The good news is that the Emend kept me from vomiting all weekend. I had some other tummy issues and some pretty bad muscle aches on and off but nothing that OTC drugs couldn't take care of. I don't think I have ever slept so much in my life....I have read that for many patients the third AC treatment can really knock you down so I guess that is what happened to me. I just can't believe how weak and tired I felt. I worry that my red blood cell count may be low because the chemo does attack the red blood cells in your bone marrow and the only way you know that besides blood work is severe fatique. I guess I just need to see how this week goes....I keep hoping that the Taxol part of my treatments won't be so hard. I hate missing so many days of my life with each treatment. Jillian had her first dance performance on Saturday and I did not get to attend. They are going to perform again at a mall on Thursday so I am hoping I feel good enough to go then. I missed Bunko for the 2nd month in a row on Saturday evening...I miss all the girls in the group....we always have such a fun evening and they always lift my spirits. I guess I just don't do well staying in the house for so many days. Even though I could hardly keep my eyes open I had Bret take me for a drive to pick up a "carry out" salad at Outback Steakhouse last night....I just had to get out of the bedroom and smell some fresh air. It's hard not to feel depressed with all of this. Besides just dealing with the reality of everything that is going on all of these drugs can really mess with your mind and on top of that they also have caused me to go into what is called "chemopause" which is temporary menopause with all the benefits! Poor Bret....from what I understand going thru breast cancer treatment will be like going thru menopause 2 or 3 times...
Well, enough rambling for now....Jan
8 comments:
It's good you got up and moved around, even if its only to update us on your well-being! So glad to hear the vomiting wasn't an issue this time. Maybe you just need to sleep through the bad part! Hopefully you can "feed" your body this week and roll again with the punches!
Keep at it and remember some day this will all just be a bad memory!
Love you,
Kay
Good morning Jan - or should I say afternoon to you!?? :) Man, getting your sleep patterns all out of whack just has to be tough!!! (along with all the other "stuff")... I'm thrilled to hear you weren't throwing up all weekend and just slept it all away. I KNOW you were crushed missing Jillians performance - I'm CERTAIN you'll be up to it on Thursday! Don't beat yourself up over any negative feelings you might be having... You know that's only normal. You'll get through this and you'll touch many lives along your way! Then they'll be the LUCKY ones! Take care. LISTEN to your body, doing what it takes - when you need it. Take it easy and work your way back to feeling good! I love you. Sue
I wanted to say hi and let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there Jan-
You are winning..keep it up and keep swinging....DP says Hi too
Take Care Girl !!! Kip
Hi Jan. Getting out, when you can, sounds like a good idea. Don't beat yourself over missing things -- You are a wonderful mom and a great friend! You're a brave and amazing woman! I'm thinking about you!
love,
janie
Hey girly, glad to hear you are on your way back from this round. When the negative or depressing thoughts float in, just let them float right back out again. Think instead about the sunshine, or the kids when they laugh, or a really nice glass of wine and a log fire in the fireplace. Whatever floats your boat! Mind over matter!!
I'm so proud of how you are holding up!
Libby
Hi Jan! I have gone back and read all of your posts and so am up to date. Just wanted you to know one more of your "Buddies" is thinking of you and praying for you and your family. I have a sneaking suspicion you are going to be just fine!
Take care!
Evan
Hi Jan,
You should know if you're up at 2:00am you can email/call me!!! I'm up all hours of the night...LOL Glad to hear that there was no sickness this time around. Thank goodness for meds that can help with that. Hopefully you can just sleep the rest of the stuff off.
I know what you mean about wanting to get out of the house. Sean and I have this discussion every weekend. He's gone all week and wants to stay home on the weekends. Where as I'm home all the time and I can't wait to get away from the house!! It's crazy.
I have to tell you something about Kylie. She had her first basketball game Saturday, which I missed because I had to work, anyways, they won it was 24 to something...Kylie scored 11 of their 24 points!! She's such a beast!! Thought you might get a kick out of hearing that...you know how she is.
As always, we will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.
Love,
Sheryl
So glad to hear you were not throwing up this time. What a relief. I know the fatigue is getting you down, but like Kay said, soon this will all be a bad memory! Keep your spirits up and I hope to see you soon! Love ya! Linda
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