OUCH!

Ouch is definitely the word for the weekend....it has been very painful but I am getting thru it. I am not having any nausea so that is a blessing. On Saturday afternoon I started having cramps that just kept getting worse thru the evening. It is obvious that chemo and my ovaries are not getting along...the pain has reminded me of the labor pains I had the night before Tyler was born. The bone pain kind of crept up on me as Saturday progressed...at first it was just little jabs of shooting pain and then it finally worked it's way up to a constant pain from my lower back to my shins. I have been constantly taking ibuprofen but it doesn't seem to phase the pain...I dug out an old heating pad and I have tried to lay on it but it doesn't seem to help either. The few times I have walked down the stairs it almost felt like the bones in my knees were crumbling, it was really an odd sensation. It really is crazy to see how harsh these drugs can be on your body so quickly. Another big difference with this treatment is how much I have been awake. I don't know if it's the pain that keeps me from sleeping or just the difference in the drugs but I definitely don't feel like I am living in a fog like I did with the AC chemo.

Emotionally each treatment gets so much harder. It is just so frustrating to not have the energy to do what I want to do anymore and each treatment seems to take more out of me. After spending all these weekends in my bedroom I am starting to hate it which is sad because when we moved into this house my bedroom was one of my favorite rooms. I think when I get done with chemo I will want to burn all the blankets, sheets, pj's, etc. because they will be horrible reminders of these long miserable weekends.

Thankfully, the kids have had a good weekend. Jillian spent all day with her friend Amanda on Saturday and today she spent the day with her friend Brittney. Tyler has been over in Indiana spending a few days with his cousins. I am so glad that they have been able to get out and have fun....Bret has spent his time putting up all the x-mas stuff and trying to fix our garage door and refrigerator which have broken at the same time.....looks like we will be doing some shopping this week for things that aren't fun to spend money on - yuck!